went back to the restaurant today with the girls and it felt so, so strange. i arrived about 20 minutes late, and uncle mike (who does the reservations and sometimes shows guests to their table) was laughing at me and saying that they only hold tables for 15 mins and how the host is late etc - thankfully shannie jac and bel were already seated since they were early. while walking to the table i got too excited seeing mina since she was serving in my lane, and then it was strange that she was unfolding my napkin for me and asking me if i wanted water. then my manager came up to the table and served us complimentary mocktails. after our orders were taken, and before our entrees came, we were served complimentary duck rillette as an amuse-bouche from chef tila -  i felt so strange and suddenly shy, i wanted to disappear immediately. 1. these things are generally done to VIP tables such as when boss is hosting her friends - they get lots of duck rillette, and boss loves walnut bread so they get that. 2. i am clearly not any VIP or regular guest. the reason why i keep using strange to describe how i felt  - of course i am happy that they’re going out of their way, to me it means that perhaps whatever relationship we have/had is valued; that the friendships are not temporary or easily forgotten. but on the other hand, i feel bad that they’re doing all these things because the last thing i want to be is different. by quitting and ceasing to be a server, and by coming back as a customer is already a huge change..then the first time i’m back with my friends they give us complimentary things, and were super super nice. i guess i’m insecure and i want them to know that even though i’m moving on to another job, even though in the future i’ll come back only as a customer of the restaurant, i’m still the same person inside - the person that can be a waitress, serve people, clear dirty dishes, carry tables and chairs, set cutlery, fold laundry, polish glasses, laugh and joke with them, appreciate what they do. the person who does not think that their jobs are terrible ones, that it is all easy peasy and requires no effort, that servers are less than human and do not deserve respect. i hope they know. the next time when i go back i hope there’ll be no such special treatment..and i hope i’ll have more time to talk to my colleagues. and i’ll be sure to go into the kitchen to say hi and thank the chefs - i’ve been thinking how i should have done that today. going back made me realise how much i miss the job, and my colleagues (because they made up the better part of the job anyway)

went back to the restaurant today with the girls and it felt so, so strange.

i arrived about 20 minutes late, and uncle mike (who does the reservations and sometimes shows guests to their table) was laughing at me and saying that they only hold tables for 15 mins and how the host is late etc - thankfully shannie jac and bel were already seated since they were early. while walking to the table i got too excited seeing mina since she was serving in my lane, and then it was strange that she was unfolding my napkin for me and asking me if i wanted water. then my manager came up to the table and served us complimentary mocktails. after our orders were taken, and before our entrees came, we were served complimentary duck rillette as an amuse-bouche from chef tila -  i felt so strange and suddenly shy, i wanted to disappear immediately.

1. these things are generally done to VIP tables such as when boss is hosting her friends - they get lots of duck rillette, and boss loves walnut bread so they get that.

2. i am clearly not any VIP or regular guest.

the reason why i keep using strange to describe how i felt  - of course i am happy that they’re going out of their way, to me it means that perhaps whatever relationship we have/had is valued; that the friendships are not temporary or easily forgotten. but on the other hand, i feel bad that they’re doing all these things because the last thing i want to be is different. by quitting and ceasing to be a server, and by coming back as a customer is already a huge change..then the first time i’m back with my friends they give us complimentary things, and were super super nice. i guess i’m insecure and i want them to know that even though i’m moving on to another job, even though in the future i’ll come back only as a customer of the restaurant, i’m still the same person inside - the person that can be a waitress, serve people, clear dirty dishes, carry tables and chairs, set cutlery, fold laundry, polish glasses, laugh and joke with them, appreciate what they do. the person who does not think that their jobs are terrible ones, that it is all easy peasy and requires no effort, that servers are less than human and do not deserve respect. i hope they know.

the next time when i go back i hope there’ll be no such special treatment..and i hope i’ll have more time to talk to my colleagues. and i’ll be sure to go into the kitchen to say hi and thank the chefs - i’ve been thinking how i should have done that today. going back made me realise how much i miss the job, and my colleagues (because they made up the better part of the job anyway)